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Tony Parsnips' Weekly Round Up

posted 8 Jun 2016, 02:49 by Webmaster BADGERS   [ updated 16 Jun 2016, 02:21 ]


By Tony Parsnips

Tony Parsnips
With regular news-hound Chris Horton unable to pen this week’s report, I jumped at the chance to earn a quick £40 cash to trot out a 500 word report at relatively short notice.
I had heard that Danny Warren had finally broken into the top ten in a league race so I wept. I wept and I wept and I wept. And when I had finally finished weeping, I took stock of the fine achievement and I wept some more. I wept because it was the very first time that young Danny James Warren had made the top ten in a league race. And not just any league race. The LRRL league, short for Leicestershire Road Running League and particularly, the Swithland 6. An undulating six mile course through the scenic Leicestershire countryside, passing the pretty reservoir and the village of Rothley. The race is chip timed – please do not lose your chip. Replacement chips will be charged at £10 per runner. Headphones are not allowed under any circumstances and runners found wearing them will be disqualified immediately.

He ran like the wind, but not just a gentle breeze lapping at your parasol on the beach at Bournemouth. No. Oh no. He ran like a whirlwind. A tornado. A cyclone. A twister. A hurricane. A strong gale. A tempest or a stiff nor’easter.

His courage in the face of pace was a wonder to behold. “Wonder-Warren” the crowd exclaimed as they witnessed him streak past them like an express train out of control. Like a runaway car with a faulty handbrake left abandoned on a hilly street. Like toboggan team careering down the track at high speed. Like a really fast runner going really, really fast in a fast race. Quickly.

301 words. Just over half-way. Come on, you can do this. Dig in. Other runners included Dave Jackson, Chris Horton, Aaron Chetwynd, Glyn Broadhurst, Adi Payne, Ian Smith, Martyn Barrett, Jared Karim, Dave Craig, Rachel Crump, Rob Boland, Colin Lees, Ashley Taylor, John Hanson, Chris Upton, Nicki Bowman, Mark Robinson, Rachael Bunting, John Savin-Baden, Richard Hill, Anne Wells, Serena Baker, Jason Husselbee-Orwin, Paul Grubb, Claire Fielding, Karen Thompson and Jo Thompson.

At Sutton fun-run runners included Keir Hardy, Jo Hardy, Leesa Dennis, Charlotte Oliver, Helena Rean and Teresa Buck. Jo Davies and Rob Crow ran the Ramathon half marathon.

At Kingsbury Water Park parkrun Chris Baxter was first – other runners included Aaron Chetwynd, Glyn Broadhurst, Adi Payne, Martyn Barrett, Keir Hardy, Dave Craig, Ashley Taylor, Colin Lees, Adie Kirkham, Danny Warren, Dave Jarvis, Chris Upton, Jason Husselbee-Orwin, Fay Casey, Anne Wells, David Bailey, Mark Robinson, Kerry Nicholls, John Hanson, Pete Wells, Rob Crow, Leanne Baker, Michelle Carter, Joanne Burrows, Sandra Ward, Luke Baker, Richard Hill, Rachael Howard, Serena Baker, Adam Baker, Grace Jackson, Paul Grubb, Teresa Buck, Jo Hardy, Aguwen Mibabi and Steph White. Carolyn Hall also ran.

There you go that’s 500 words exactly including headline – pdf invoice attached.