Week Ending - 2023/11/05

BOWMAN – MY MEAT PASTE HELL

Long-serving Badgers stalwart Nicki Bowman was close to tears yesterday as she revealed her chronic addiction nightmare. At a hastily arranged press conference at the Wood End Working Men’s Club, the former ladies captain and current 8 mile club record holder (V40), explained to a handful of moderately disinterested pensioners how she has been hooked on the bargain price sandwich filler, meat paste for several seasons now. “Truth be told, I just cannot get enough of the stuff” said a visibly emotional Bowman. “Usually it’s chicken, but I’m partial to a bit of beef. I don’t mind crab paste either – the only one I’ve not tried is Bloater paste which I worry would contribute to weight gain.” 

It has been estimated that the glamourous grandmother has spent as much as £12 over the years, boosting the profits of firms such as Princes and Shippams who mass produce the vile muck. This figure is somewhat conservative as it doesn’t include the paste she has won in the numerous Badgers competitions she has entered. A natural-born winner, Bowman, 47, most famously won the Abbott Trail 5K back in 2019 as well as several parkruns but her startling revelation last night has rocked the racing world as well as the wider Badger family. 

Matt Green and Janey Barrett ran the Tunnel Vision Run Night & Dawn event in Market Harborough. The 5-mile out and back on an old railway line includes a long, dark tunnel, at the end of which runners are given something to run back with, hence the hats in the photograph. Green ran a fine 37:27 in the night run to take 18th place with a more moderate 42:33 in the dawn run. Barrett was extremely consistent clocking 43:31 and 42:33 to feature in the top 50 in both efforts. 

Very few Badgers can boast the ability to climb rocks and bake pies to a high standard as well as maintain a sense of general geniality but Maggi Savin-Baden might just be the one. The academic mum of two recorded a fine time of 2:23:15 at the Z-Cars half marathon alongside club legend Karen Thompson, a real captain of industry if ever there was one. Fellow boffin Liz Peel went slightly quicker over the distance at the Rother Valley half marathon in 2:12:38, as she closes in rapidly on her 50th half marathon. 

Parkrun saw all manner of wonderment with four different winners across the Midlands and even a rare 1-2-3 finish at a muddy Beacon Hill parkrun where Ryan Preece (17:21) leading the speedy Dave Hill home by ten seconds with Adrian Payne beating everybody else off in third. Liberty Underhill ran strongly after injury to secure 4th female in 23:15. Ashley Taylor selflessly paced big Dave Jackson through to a course best in 22:00, enabling the muscular former pool player to bag second place in his age category.

New recruit Jim Cottom added his name to the ever-expanding roll-call of Badgers to have triumphed at a parkrun as he produced a masterclass in 5K running at Dallas Burston Polo Club parkrun. The veteran ace sped through tricky terrain faster than anyone else in an impressive 22:02 while Sharon Jackson and Rachael Browne both hit the heights of the top ten.  

Mark Repton ran a race-winning 19:10 at Oaklands parkrun with elder brother Wayne also making the top ten in 22:31 while Christopher Horton (19:08) made it four different Badger winners with the 32nd first place of his Kingsbury Water Park career, moving him just one win away from matching canicross star Elaine Sherwin’s all-time record of 33. Bill Gutheridge, Mick Bailey, David Craig, Martin Graham and Lee Millership were all in action at the muddy lakeside course which also saw Dave Jenkinson, Nick Miles and Mark Reynolds dirtying their trainers somewhat. Matt Green and Janey Barrett took 7th male and 3rd female respectively at a sopping wet Perry Hall parkrun with Suzy Farrell finishing 4th lady at Warwick Racecourse in 23:17, showing the experienced Colin Lees a thing or two as the birthday boy rolled in 32 seconds later. 

Ivana Babicova was just one of a number of Badgers at the reliably “on” Conkers course, the others including the beautiful Clare Whetton, club kit guru Janet Crumpton, the hard-working Karen Draper, Leesa Dennis, Merv Jones and Paul Cooper. In form Jill Miller was a fine 5th at the North Yorkshire Water Park event while Chris Young made a fine top ten finish of his own at a challenging Market Bosworth, another course significantly compromised by wet weather. Holly and Andy Smith took on the Thames Path parkrun in Woolwich with Adam McElhone and Vicky Brunsdon closer to home at Babbs Mill. 

Professor Maggi Savin-Baden is closing in on her 100th parkrun after clocking up her 98th event at Braunstone. Ross Kilburn ran at Brueton Park in 28:08. 

Further afield were Adrian and Judy Parkes, at the Hoedspruit parkrun in the Kruger National Park, South Africa, just north of Eswatini. The intrepid couple each finished eighth in their gender categories in times of 27:47 and 31:36 respectively, not affected by rain and thankfully not being chased by any big cats either, although such a circumstance may have facilitated faster times were they lucky enough to finish ahead of what would no doubt have been an otherwise calamitous death.